Tickle your funny bone and have fun with the following submissions:

RAISING BOYS

For those who have grown children - this is totally hysterical!

For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.)          A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.)          If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.)          A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.)          If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy  wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft .room.

5.)          You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.)          The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.)          When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.)          Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.)          A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.)      Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old boy.

11.)      Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.)      Super glue is forever.

13.)      No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.)      Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.)      VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.)      Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.)      Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.)      You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.)      Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.)      The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.)      The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.)      It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.)      Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.)      80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.)      80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

Personality Test

This is fun. Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you
ever asked yourself what cartoon character you most resemble?

Answer all the questions with what describes you best.  Add up all your points

(which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results.

Do not cheat by looking at the end before you are done.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts.)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e)  Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could
choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)


6 Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat right now?
a) Snow (3 pts)
b)  Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 pt.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5   pts.)

8 . What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)


9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5  pts)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt)
d) Hawaii (4 pts)
e ) Hollywood (3 pts)


10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5   pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)


Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting
for!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield:  You are very comfortable, easy going,
and you definitely know how  to have fun but  sometimes you take it to
an extreme.  You always know what you are doing and you are always in
control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that
doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember
your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17-23 points) You are Snoopy: You are fun, you are very cool and
popular. You always now what's in and you never are out of style. You
are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably
disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with
the family values that you learned. Being married and having children
are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun
times.

(24-28 points) You are Elmo: You have lots of friends and you are also
popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need.
You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things.
Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer, if not you will
have many conflicts with life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants! : You are the classic
person that everyone loves.  You are the best friend that anyone could
ever have and never want to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and
they would never Not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's
funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous
people, and then you will be stress free.

(36-43 points)  You are Charlie Brown: You are tender, you fall in love
quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a
family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and
may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse
you with reality.

(44-50 points) You are Dexter: You are smart and definitely a thinker.

Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind.

You demonstrate very strong family principles. Maintain
a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes.

======

fabulous PowerPoint!:  http://parentswish.com 

This game will drive you nuts - but it's fun!:

http://www.mcsaatchi.webcentral.com.au/tennischallenge/optus_tennis_site_edited.html    

This is an awesome Bible reference site - http://web2.airmail.net/dpelc/yellow/

====

The Story of the King's 4 Wives

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."  Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"  "No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!", replied the 2nd wife.  "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!" 

In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives  - Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die.  Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.  Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave. And our 1st wife is our Soul, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.   Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day:  Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.  Also may the Holy Spirit fill you with God's Word - Soul food!

Pass this on to someone you care about - I just did.